


Johann's Bonds

by violerwolf



Series: depressed bard boy [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Also his name is Johann you heathens., Alternate Universe - College/University, Based off me and my friend's college AU where the BoB is a fraternity., Criticism and feedback welcome!, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, This is my first fanfic so sorry if it's bad., depressed character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2018-12-30 07:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12104046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violerwolf/pseuds/violerwolf
Summary: Johann's a depressed college student at Astral University, home to the Betta Omega Betta fraternity. He's dragged into the fraternity by Avi and slowly grows bonds within the group.Aka the College au starring Johann that nobody asked for





	1. Nailpolish [Taako's Chapter]

Johann was fifteen when he was diagnosed with depression and sixteen the first time he finds himself sitting on the edge of a bridge. When he turned seventeen, he began a jellyfish aquarium. At nineteen, when he heads off to college, he majors in musical composition. And at twenty, Johann’s roommate drags him into a fraternity composed of ten doofuses. Well, eleven, now, counting himself.

~~~

So maybe Beta Omega Beta was a lot more... hectic than Johann had expected, but nobody bothered him, so he guessed it was cool. He still can’t believe Avi sucked him into joining some fraternity. A fraternity made up of some of the schools biggest troublemakers and most popular attendants. Killian and Magnus are star football players, after all. Taako has a dedicated following and a dedicated group of enemies. So what, if people seemed to like his jellyfish tank more than him? That was entirely fine. Johann was one of the few who had a room all to himself in their house, and he relished in the isolation that it provided. So maybe he didn’t leave the room except in the dead of night to avoid running into anyone else, and maybe he hadn’t showered in three days because it all felt like too much. He was fine staying inside and working on his composition for class. It’s not like he cared that Fisher and Junior were the only ones there to listen to his music, that was completely fine.

When a knock rang out on his door he assumed it would be Avi, making sure that Johann had taken his meds. Maybe even Magnus, wanting to check on the jellyfish. Or even Lucretia, coming to ask for his help with a project for her musical history course. He did not expect it to be the eccentrically dressed Taako Taaco, resident troublemaker along with the two other “Tres Horney Boys” or whatever they were calling themselves these days. He was holding a silk robe, with the monogram TT on it.

“Uh, how can I-” he starts to say before being interrupted by Taako.

“Listen here, bubula,” he punctuated the pet-name with a gesture, “You are frankly in a state of calamity so you’re getting blessed with some quality Taako Time. Now, I don’t do this for everyone, so you can hold your overwhelming adoration,” he says as he grabs Johann’s wrist, dragging him down the hall into Taako’s room, “We’re having a spa day!”

Taako’s side of the room is cluttered in the way only a hoarder’s room can be, filled with trinkets and stray bits and ends, remnants of past foster homes and newer items, like a wooden duck carved by Magnus and a golden pocket watch left by Kravitz, but it’s a comfortable state of calamity. The sweet smell of vanilla and lavender seem to swirl around the room in a pleasant dance. It’s warmer and fonder than the disarray his room was in by far. Taako has seemed to have mastered the subtle difference between cluttered and messy and mastered it beautifully. A variety of beauty implements were laid across the bed that Johann couldn’t name if he tried.

“You, uh, really don’t have to do this.”

“Nonsense, I can’t let someone associated with the one and only Taako go out in public in the state you’re in, now sit down,” Taako motions to a clear spot on the bed, “and we’ll start with a manicure first.”

He takes out a sparkly file and begins shaping Johann’s nails. At first, Johann sits there awkwardly, running through ways he can get out of this before giving up and allowing himself to relax. He wouldn’t admit it, but it’s almost sort of nice. The comfortable silence between them soon turns to a steady discussion about popular music as Taako rummages through his dozens of nail polish colors. Taako finally seems satisfied with a deep blue and begins showing Johann the finer art of painting your nails. 

After his nails are dry, Taako pulls out a few items. A bath bomb, a bottle of shampoo and conditioner, a facial mask, and a towel. “So, muchacho, your room only has a shower, right? Well, we at La Casa del Taako have a jetted tub that’s to die for. I’m gonna help you with that face mask because it’s obvious you’ve never seen one a day in your life.”  
The bathroom was filled with the scent of citrus as Taako helped him apply the orange face mask and draw the bath, leaving him alone with the items from earlier. This was oddly… nice? Johann wasn’t really used to people caring enough about him to force him to relax and practice some self-care, even if they pretended that it was for the sake of their own reputation. He hadn’t realised how much stress he had been holding, how tense he was until he dipped into the now lilac water. Allowing himself to relax, unwinding in the pleasant steam and emptying out his mind from compositions and class and people. He felt clean for the first time in weeks and admired how his hair looked when it was properly washed and conditioned with whatever weird unlabeled hair concoction that Taako had cooked up. Slipping on the silk robe Taako had offered him, he walked back into Tres Horny Boy’s bedroom to find them discussing quietly amongst themselves. He felt a slight flush of embarrassment until he remembered that he’s seen all of them in way more compromising clothing (or lack of clothing) than just a robe.

“Uh, hey man, do you mind if I return your robe after I change or, uh..?”

The three quickly stop their secretive murmurs and glance over at him, before Taako steps forward and says, “Sure thing, Johann.”

~~~

It becomes a regular thing, Johann being dragged to Taako’s room for a spa day once a month while Taako bemoaned the reputation he would bring the fraternity if he didn't start taking better care of himself. Johann would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it. It might have something to do with the fact that Taako is the least overbearing of the BoB or maybe the fact that he and Taako run into each other when refilling their prescriptions. Johann is hesitant to call what they have a friendship, but it’s something ineffable right on the tip of his tongue.

For Candlenights that year, Taako gives Johann a silk hair wrap, patterned silver with blue flowers, along with a note:

_For that greasy mop you call hair - Taako_


	2. Aquariums [Magnus' Chapter]

It was quiet. The kind of silence breathed into the space between worlds. Some gelatinous space where ideas and thoughts and creativity are born. The room was dim, filled only with the white noise of filters in the background that allowed Johann’s mind to static out as he stared into the void. Or, at least, the closest thing to the void he had, his aquarium. Two jellyfish drift within the tanks in some kind of delicate, unknowable dance. If Johann was a romantic, he might call this image beautiful or moving. But Johann is not a romantic, and he’s doing nothing but wasting time by staring at this dumb aquarium. But it still entrances him, this hypnotic movement, and he can’t bring himself to leave. Or even care about leaving.  
A knock at the door is always a surprise that brings him out of his reverie. And at his door stands the one and only Magnus Burnsides, a ramshackle hulking figure that seemed to be born with a patchwork of scars. Star quarterback for the Ravens. He reminded Johann of the first people he had met when he came to the states. Resentful of the way people in highschool stared like he was some kind of animal or sideshow. It’s not like he cared if other people saw him as a that “weird islander kid” anyways. Magnus stands at the door, looking uncomfortable at Johann’s vacant expression.  
“I was, uh, wondering if I could look at Fisher- But I mean if now’s not a good time I can come back later or..,” said Magnus, with the deep timbre of his voice filling the silence.  
“Yeah, sure, whatever come on in”  
Johann doesn’t bother with shoving the dirty clothes or stray papers away, it's not like he cares what Magnus thinks. What anyone thinks. Magnus is too awkwardly large for his cluttered room, like a bear trapped in a too small cage. There’s already some hard plastic chair in front of the circular aquarium at the dead center of the room, which Magnus gladly rests his weight in as he gazes up at the aquarium with the same childlike wonder that he does everytime he comes to Johann’s room. Not that Johann blamed him, his aquariums are his pride and joy, although the medusae aquarium is the real show stunner. Johann sits on the edge of his bed, Glancing at Magnus, who brought something to carve with his hands while he watched the flickering water.  
“You’re uh, just in time for feeding.”  
_Oh fuck, he had almost forgot._  
Moving over to his desk, he opens a small refrigerator with some defrosted brine shrimp. Which, speaking off, he recalled that his new batch really requires freezing. The movements are like clockwork as he transfers in new batches to an empty ice tray until he notices a set of eyes peering at him. Johann let’s out a sigh. “What?”  
Magnus looks a little alarmed and fumbles with the wood he’s carving. “Oh, nothing, I was just thinking your desk over there looks like some crazy scientist’s lab. Almost reminds me of Lucas’ room, haha,” he looks a little nervous, somehow worried that his rustic charm wasn’t enough in way of apology.  
Now that Johann looked at it, his desk is fairly reminiscent of something you’d see in some B-rate horror movie. Funnels and feeders and cultures of various aquatic plants, chemicals and test tubes designed for monitoring water levels, thermometers and strange unlabeled liquids. And surprisingly, Johann lets out a chuckle, something that's hard to achieve out of the stoic musician.  
“I guess it does, huh? God, Avi’s gonna love that.”  
And Magnus grins this wide beaming smile that’s all chipped teeth and crow’s feet and Johann can’t help but smile too. He knows it’s been bugging Magnus that he can’t seem to connect with Johann, so the least he could do is concede this small victory. Magnus’ rough, calloused hands fiddle with his carving knife, feeling each groove and delicately testing his fingers on the blade, checking it’s sharpness before he resumes carving. The block of wood is slowly starting to take shape into some kind of bird, although it could be mistaken for a fairly abstract postmodernist art piece, at the moment. It’s a gorgeous rosewood.One of his personal favorites for violins. Magnus and Johann sit in a comfortable silence for a moment or two, or a comfortable white noise, to be more precise, lost in their own thoughts, before Magnus breaks it with a question.  
“Hey, can I ask you about Palau?”

~~~

Johann is twelve years old and he is swimming far, far away from his worries. And the jellyfish swim with him, in this small hidden cove of the island. Well-hidden from any prying eyes, a lush inlet of cool ocean water lies hidden through a wall of vines and trees. Untouched by any dumb tourists who ask dumb questions. And as Johann floats on his back, watching as the harsh noon sun slowly drifts away, he daydreams about his next trip mainland, because he had been saving up his money for something very special.  
Johann purchases his first violin by himself. It’s made of cheap wood and poorly tuned. Dented and chipped and without a case. But Johann owns it. He practices every day for months, learning from Youtube tutorials that buffer every few minutes until he can sloppily play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. And he puts on a concert for his family. His mother and all the B&B’s staff gather around in their small living room as he plays the violin. And there is clapping and laughing and joy as he finishes his piece and he gives this toothy grin as his mama tells him how proud she is. Warm hugs wrap around him as he’s brought into the embrace of his family, all filled with compliments and pride at just how good he’s getting.  
The air swirls with the smell of freshly steamed rice and the mouth-watering scent of pan-fried shrimp, and Johann is nearly fifteen. Too gawky and tall, he knocks his head on the kitchen door now and can’t help but bemoan how short their ceiling is. His mother tsks at him, waving her wooden spoon and chastising him. It’s familial and comfortable, as they banter over chores. But four words shatter the joviality of lunch, and coincidentally, Johann’s whole world: “Your father is visiting.”

~~~

“I never would have left, if it weren’t for my mom. She was, uh, really insistent that I don’t ‘waste’ my talents. So I came with my father to the states.”  
Magnus’ bird appears to be taking the shape of a duck. He doesn’t quite understand Magnus’ affinity for the animal, but at least Killian loves finding duck figurines all over the house. He moves his knife with a careful precision, small slivers of wood falling to the floor.  
“It sounds like you had a great, uh, life down there. You must be homesick.”  
Homesickness required a home to go back to. And the closest thing Johann had to home anymore was Avi.  
“Yeah. Homesick.”

~~~

Johann was sixteen when he comes home for holiday. He was so excited. Excited for the delicious _tinola_ his mother would make, excited to hear his native tongue, excited to breathe in the sea breeze, and just so, so excited to be surrounded by family. And the first day he was back was a day of festivity. Kim greeted him by tossing him off the pier, and Johann dragged him in too. They feasted that night in the fading sunlight, lanterns surrounding them as everyone asks millions of questions about the states and caught him up with the latest gossip. He sleeps on the too-small couch, his old bedroom becoming a storeroom in his absence. And as he’s going to bed he says, “Love you, mama.” She looks at him curiously for a moment, as if trying to remember something, before replying, “Love you too, my son. Sleep tight.”  
That was the first sign Johann saw.

Over the next few visits, he saw similar moments of confusion and uncertainty in her mind. He was growing increasingly concerned, and it came to a climax when his mother stopped recognizing him. He woke up one night to her screaming for Kim about a burglar and quickly turned around to see his mother, wielding a baseball bat at him. That’s when he knew his fears were coming true.

The B&B was turned over to Kim, the groundskeeper. Johann’s father got his mother into one of the most expensive clinics on the mainland.

Johann slowly stops visiting altogether. 

 

~~~

Johann turns his mind away from those memories. How could he describe to Magnus that he’s longing for a home that doesn’t exist anymore? He opts to change the subject.  
“Yeah, actually, homesickness is what, uh, inspired me to start keeping jellyfish. When I came to the states I was sort of, uh, pissed off that there wasn't any, like, jellyfish around? So I, uh, started keeping them and here we are,” he says, gesturing to his aquariums.  
“How’d you meet Avi?”

~~~

Johann and Magnus talked a lot more after that day, about the anything and everything. Johann learns about the earthquake that ravaged Magnus’ childhood home, and Magnus learns about how Johann’s father died in the War. Johann figures talking beats the usual awkward silence anytime Magnus comes to visit Fisher. And it’s nice, maybe, talking to someone who isn’t Avi about personal stuff.  
Johann starts finding little wooden trinkets around his room after Magnus leaves. His favorite, by far, is the rosewood jellyfish Magnus carved for him. And Johann starts sending Magnus audio files of his latest compositions to get a second opinion. Even if it’s mostly “THAT’S SO GOOD JOHANN!! :O!!!,” Johann still enjoys the feedback. And Johann feels a feeling of..something he can’t quite name growing in his chest. And maybe, just maybe, he starts catching himself calling Magnus a friend in his head. And it’s nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Sorry that this took so long to get out. I've been in and out of the hospital and on my fifth round of medication this month, so that happened. Please leave kudos, comments, and feedback! Thanks for your support.


End file.
